My residency has come to an end. I don’t feel that it “went by so fast” but it is weird to be done with something I’ve been looking forward to for months. I feel extremely satisfied with the work I made, and very grateful for the experience. I’m grateful to myself for taking this leap, grateful for the organization that expanded my thinking, and grateful for Puebla– a city that accepted me with open arms, vibrance, and sun.
I tried to come into this experience with an open mind and as few expectations as possible, and I’m really glad I did that. I explored ideas that have been living in my brain for months, and I also created pieces I never expected to by granting myself the permission to play.
Community is in my blood and nature and I’ll admit, I did expect to find some sort of community here in the residency or the city. I didn’t really find that here. I was out of my comfort zone in that sense. I had to learn to cope with loneliness in new ways. I had to learn to navigate my ever-present hyperactivity alone- an endless need for “activities”, and fulfill it with things other than constant work. I bought a guitar, ate a lot of ice cream on park benches, and went on many mindfulness walks.
There is a desire and sense of urgency to neatly wrap this up with a bow, because when I return to Chicago, my life will be much different. However, as Fransisco (my mentor here) said to me in my final meeting, “The residency really begins when it ends. This is just the beginning for you.”
There are also some “shoulds” that come up for me. “I should really go to that museum I didn’t get a chance to visit” or “I should really use my last few days wisely here.” I don’t believe in “shoulds”, and this experience allowed me to set down “shoulds” and lean into intuition. I followed my gut in everything here, and what a gift that was.
What’s next?
I’m really excited about the work I made here. I plan to organize some sort of show in Chicago within the next year to open it up to the public. I have big dreams, goals, and vision for this collection. I’m very excited to take this work out of the bubble it has existed in this past month, bring it to Chicago, and get feedback from my art community. I’m excited to see how these seeds will take root and blossom in new ways in the coming months.
To my subscribers and supporters (IRL and virtual)– thanks for following along the past 5 weeks. I’ll continue to post art updates and such via my substack even though my residency journey is coming to an end. Until next time.