I've been packing and preparing this past week, and finally getting excited to leave. Some friends of mine threw a little send off party for me, and the reality was starting to set in. I came home from the send off party and went to sleep, but I was awoken to an extremely sore throat at 4 in the morning. My heart sank. I got up, grabbed a COVID test and hoped for the best, but unfortunately, it came back positive. The last time this happened, I was getting excited to spend a weekend selling my art at Pitchfork, and COVID came for me then. It doesn't care what plans you may have. It comes at the worst times.
Luckily, my program is flexible and allowed me to push my entire residency back by one week. So my new dates are Feb 13 – March 13. In the end, this is a small setback, but in the moment it feels awful. I'm trying to find the silver linings. Right now it's tough, but I'm sure they are there.
A ton of feelings have been coming up. At first I was so mad. Mad at the universe for this awful timing, mad that despite its prevalence, COVID isn't getting the coverage it used to. It also feels embarrassing. It feels embarrassing to have plans "set in stone" for months, only to have them wrecked out of nowhere. I'm scared. I'm scared of having long COVID, or having brain fog during my residency– the time I want to be as clear headed as possible. And finally, I'm sad. I'm really sad for the part of me that was so excited to go and is instead bed ridden for who knows how long. At least my cats have been snuggly.
Maybe my next post will be about the silver linings. For now, I'm going to work on my t-shirt yarn rug and rest as much as possible.